My mind wanders through conversations, construction details, chord progressions, upcoming dates I need to keep in my head, to focusing back on the song in my ear buds. My mind fires on all cylinders in different directions constantly and I wonder how I get anything done as I reach down and run my hand up a strand of rosemary, rub my hands together, inhale, and smile.
Each day is a walk on the same path with a different outcome and I press “next” on my playlists until it comes to a song that matches my mood. The graffiti on the sidewalk says “REMOVE”, in all caps, next to shitty rattle can tags on a beautiful rounded metal building. A small group of tents huddle together under the overpass as cars go by overhead clicking to the same rhythm to the song I’m listening to and beautiful people run by in singles and doubles in their expensive active wear. I look down at my iPhone and think of every bill I just paid this morning and wonder if I’m doing what I should be doing…and of what more I could really be doing.
The smell of cigarettes waft through the air as I pass the mechanic eating lunch in his car and a couple sits at a table with plastic bags full of food as I hit the half way point and turn around. I wonder what I’ll eat for lunch when I get back to the office as my stomach growls.
And sometimes I see death as scary like the true crime podcast I listened to this morning and sometimes it’s beautiful like the bird I’ve been watching decompose all week on this same sidewalk. It’s eyes closed, tail feathers catching in the wind looking like a plane crash that hit neck first but for some reason looks peaceful.
Just like that it’s gone.
Just like that we’re all gone.